OH MY GOD!!!!

Someone please kick me in the head...What the hell was I thinking when I told Austin's mother that it wouldn't bother me if her and her boyfriend came up here to look into homes and a job???!!!!
They arrived last Friday. No big deal. Things were good...AT FIRST...Then came the day that Ben blew up at her boyfriend because he didn't hear a whole conversation about Austin having to come inside because it was late but of course, this made Austin cry. So Ben freaks out on said boyfriend, gets in his face and there's a whole round of fireworks...Why the hell did I agree to this again??
So yesterday, I got a text saying that she believes that it would be best for all of us if they went someplace else to stay...So they go. No big deal. I'm happy and relieved at the same time. I go to work, she comes over here to watch Austin while I'm working. Works for me.
I get home today and she says FUCKING GIGGLING, "Guess who forgot to give him his pill today?" I'm thinking oh my God, are you freaking kidding me?? Who on Earth "forgets" to give their child a med that they've been taking for the past 3 years? I don't get it. Call me stupid, whatever. The issue is, I DON'T FORGET and I'm not even his mother! Me thinks it's time to find a new sitter during the day...For the love of God, please give me the strength to deal with stupidity...

Relaxing Sunday Morning

So, it's been awhile since I've written. It's been a busy couple of weeks here, what with work and life. Work is MUCH better than it was. I find myself actually enjoying my job. Something just changed one day and I guess I just decided to make the best of it. I think that my bosses have come to find that I am dependable and reliable and I think I have a good relationship with most of my co workers. I'm so happy that the bad part of it has passed. I also think that I am my own worst critic and can be EXTREMELY hard on myself when I know my work is not being done to my best potential. But then, isn't most everybody their own harshest judge? I figure that if I expect nothing less than the best out of myself then I will push myself to succeed. Gosh, if only I'd have had that outlook on life back in school huh? LOL You know though, they do say "Live and Learn".
Austin will be here very soon and I have a lot to get done before his summer visitation. My house is a trash pit at the moment. Lack of motivation on my part. But I do thrive so much more when I'm chasing the clock..Don't know why, but that is a huge motivator for me. Most people call that procrastination. I call it just getting things done at a later date than I had originally planned..:)
Two of my friends had their babies this weekend. Both little boys. Drake Fredrick was born Friday at 9:49pm and Kagan Leigh was born Saturday morning. Their moms are best friends and got pregnant within a week of each other. And both boys were born somewhat early and within hours of each other. Seems like birthing babies is in the air for the next few months. I have quite a few friends (as well as my niece) that are due very soon. And it seems like at work, every other female customer has a belly out to here. Must have been a pretty awesome end of summer or a very cold winter this year! :)
Well, I suppose I should go for now. I have to be at work in a few hours and I have to do a load of laundry and take a shower. Til we meet again my friends. Blessed be.

Soooo

Here I sit..
Wondering what to write
When all of a sudden it hits me
That I'm calm and comfortable
For the first time in a few weeks...

I'm not as good at this thing called life as I originally thought

So, I started a new job a couple of weeks ago...I really don't like it all that much. Or maybe I do. I don't know. All I know is that I LOATHE going there everyday. I work nights and most of the time, I'm stuck in the kitchen. Ordinarily not a major thing...Except that I have to pull apart a pizza dough roller and put it back together again. Pulling it apart is not the problem...Quite the contrary as a matter of fact. I'm the queen of taking the darn thing apart...Getting it back together, well that's another story all together. So tonight, I cheated. I only took apart most of it and left some of it. Cleaned it as best as I could in its' aforementioned state....
On another note, yet still the same story, I told my husband (in a very emotional and tearful discussion) that I was going job hunting again on Friday..Nothing wrong with that is there? Well, you would think that I had started WWIII. I don't understand why he can't understand how come I'm not happy in this new job endeavour. Why the argument? Why try to be all macho and father like telling me "you aren't quitting this damn job"...I'll tell you all one thing about me and that is, you tell me I am not allowed to do something, and I'm going to go out of my way to do exactly that. Call me headstrong, call me an instigator...Whatever...I'm just trying to do what everyone else in life does: BE HAPPY!
Maybe I'm walking around with a giant chip on my shoulder and being completely unreasonable. I don't know. I can't imagine anyone working in the conditions I work in. I know one thing for sure: I can't go on like this anymore. I can't work at a job where I haven't been properly trained in THEIR procedures. I can't work at a job where they don't allow you to call in, even if you are sick unless you find a replacement for your shift (and let me just say this right now: the people I work with are definitely not willing to work an extra shift)
I'm tired of not being home at night to work on my marriage. I'm tired of my house looking like shit because I sleep all day until I have to go to work. Let's face it. Sleep is what you do when you're feeling down & out and depressed. Or at least it's what I do. My mother in law tells me I need to go job hunting. My best friend says the same thing. The husband....well obviously not so much. I hate this feeling of inadequacy. I'm usually good at the jobs I take on. I do my best and I take pride in my work. So what the hell is wrong with me in this instance??? It's all very frustrating and confusing to me. It's a very hard pill to swallow that I'm not good at my job. Completely new experience for me. For now, I need to get some sleep. Cuz it all begins again tomorrow...UGGGHH